Time is against us, isn't it? I remember when summer seemed to last forever and childhood took so long that I desperately longed to be a grown up. Now I'm wondering where my 20's went (not to mention my teens) and how all of a sudden I seem to be a married mom with a never-ending list of household chores (which never gets finished) and a baby who isn't a baby anymore - I can't believe she's already 3!!! The last three years have snuck up and smacked me right in the fanny. I'm sure I'm part of some weird government experiment in time jumping and memory tampering and it is really still 1994 - I just don't know it. Oh to be 18 again! Sometimes I forget that I'm not 18 and attempt something frivolous and physically strenuous that I would have laughed at when I was 18, only to wake up the next morning and realize that I'm over 30, overweight and overwhelmed, and apparently I'm such a cliche that I actually think it's funny.
Speaking of being overweight, I think I'm going to try to get more fit. Notice I didn't say I had a weight-loss goal - that never seems to work for me. When I say things like, "I'm going to lose 10 (read 30) pounds" I tend to work out for two weeks like a madwoman, eat nothing but salad and water and then completely deflate and give up, having somehow put on two more pounds. (Sometime in the past 10 years, that extra two pounds turned into 20 pounds and I don't even recognize pictures of myself. Who is that woman wearing clothes hanging in my closet that I'm sure are at least 3 sizes too big for me?) This time, I'm just going to try to go to the gym 3 times a week for 30 minutes each time while the mini is in school or at gymnastics. I'm not even going to get on a scale or worry about the weight. I'm just going to go. I figure that way I'll hopefully develop a healthy habit that will eventually become just another part of my day. Maybe in a couple of months I'll worry about the next step, changing my diet. Wish me luck!
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